


we think you're a joke

by dogf1ght



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Churches & Cathedrals, M/M, Trans Male Character, others denial of said trans identity, this is literally just a vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 08:24:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6510397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogf1ght/pseuds/dogf1ght
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>she sings, he cries, they comfort. it's the cycle of being trans in a conservative christian community.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we think you're a joke

**Author's Note:**

> title from shove it by santigold and spank rock

tyler cries quietly. he should be crying because of the worship music that's playing in the background, but no. 

 

he's heard this song too often to care about its message anymore. 

 

the familiar, distinctly female, voice sings into the old but still useful speakers that are placed specifically throughout the church. tyler feels as if he’s going to vomit, his body wretched forth with the holy spirit or dysphoria or the fact that his heels hurt or maybe something else. 

 

he's crying, big, stinging tears. his eyes are red, redder than red, like he has time-specific pink eye. or maybe it’s the blush and eyeshadow his sisters had lovingly forced onto his face.

 

the tears fall from his eyes onto his pink, pristine dress. he's so tired of dresses, so,  _ so _ tired of dresses. if he looks carefully through the salty mess, he can see his equally pristine, equally painful, white pumps. his ankles ache because of them.

 

he has the urge to scratch at his thighs and waist, since the worn batman boxers he had bought from hot topic three months ago weren’t exactly the cleanest (sneaking in time to clean them is hard when you have a stay-at-home mom). 

  
  


its rare he can actually cry like this, since his parents make him do more baskets (in heels for that matter, they're trying to beat the girl into him) if he sheds a tear randomly. 

 

_ “be grateful,”  _ she’ll scream, high-pitched voice ringing throughout the neighborhood.  _ “god has given you an amazing home, a steady life, and a wonderful life. you got  _ nothing _ to lie about.” _

 

josh, the only nonbinary kid in the town, comes up behind him and hugs him, suited body tired from taking the offering from the many, many pews of the packed church. they kiss behind tyler’s ear, strong arms clutching at his tiny waist. 

 

“you need anything?” they ask, hot, minty breath close enough to tyler’s ear that no one else can hear anything the pair are whispering to each other.

 

josh gave up attempting to ask if tyler was okay a long, long time ago. 

 

sometimes tyler was okay, sometimes tyler wasn’t. 

 

it was simply a fact of life.

 

(and depression.)

 

tyler shakes his head, body pressed against josh’s more muscular one as they sway to the music. he leans back to reply. 

 

“i think i just gotta cry this out”

 

josh nods, body still swaying but eyes trained on everyone around the couple. they keep their eyes steady focused, eye contact at anyone who dares to look back at the happy couple rejoicing in the word of god. 

  
they lean again, straining to rest their chin on top of tyler’s buzzed hair. “i get it,” they whisper back, their racing heart beat slowly regaining sync with their lover’s slowly slowing inhales and exhales. 


End file.
